Friday, September 20, 2013

Oronyms and a Fairy Tale

Have you heard of oronyms? They are words or phrases that sound the same as other words or phrases. For example, the well-known fairy tale, Little Red Riding Hood, becomes Ladle Rat Rotten Hut. Get it? Here is the story written entirely in oronyms as it appears in the book, Anguish Languish, written by Professor Howard L. Chace. Speak the words aloud for best results. :)

"Wants pawn term dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder inner ladle cordage honor itch offer lodge, dock, florist. Disk ladle gull orphan worry putty ladle rat cluck wetter ladle rat hut, an fur disk raisin pimple colder Ladle Rat Rotten Hut.

Wan moaning Ladle Rat Rotten Hut's murder colder inset. "Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, heresy ladle basking winsome burden barter an shirker cockles. Tick disk ladle basking tutor cordage offer groin-murder how lifts honor udder site offer florist. Shaker lake! Dun stopper laundry wrote! Dun stopper peck floors! Dun daily-doily inner florist, an yonder nor sorghum-stenches, dun stopper torque wet strainers!"
"Hoe-cake, murder," resplendent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, an tickle ladle basking an stuttered oft. Honor wrote tutor cordage offer groin-murder, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut mitten anomalous woof.

"Wail, wail, wail!" set disk wicket woof, "Evanescent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut! Wares are putty ladle gull goring wizard ladle basking?"

"Armor goring tumor groin-murder's," reprisal ladle gull. "Grammer's seeking bet. Armor ticking arson burden barter and shirker cockles."

"O hoe! Heifer gnats woke," setter wicket woof, butter taught tomb shelf, "Oil tickle shirt court tutor cordage offer groin-murder. Oil ketchup wetter letter an den -- O bore!"

Soda wicket woof tucker shirt court, an whinny retched a cordage offer groin-murder, picked inner windrow, an sore debtor pore oil worming worse lion inner bet.
Inner flesh, disk abdominal woof lipped honor bet, pauched honor pore oil worming, an garbled erupt. Den disk ratchet ammonol pot honor groin-murder's nut cup an gnat-gun, any curdled ope inner bet.

Inner ladle wile, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut a raft attar cordage, an ranker dough ball. "Comb ink, sweat hard," setter wicket woof, disgracing is verse.

Ladle Rat Rotten Hut entity bet rum, an stud buyer groin-murder's bet. "O Grammar!" crater ladle gull historically, "Water bag icer gut! A nervous sausage bag ice!"
"Battered lucky chew whiff, sweat hard," setter bloat-Thursday woof, wetter wicket small honors phase.

"O Grammar, water bag noise! A nervous sore suture anomalous prognosis!"

"Batterd small your whiff, doling," whiskered dole woof, ants mouse worse waddling.

"O Grammar, water bag mouser gut! A nervous sore suture bag mouse!"

Daze worry on-forger-nut ladle gull's lest warts. Oil offer sodden, caking offer carvers an sprinkling otter bet, disk hoard-hoarded woof lipped own pore Ladle Rat Rotten Hut an garbled erupt.

Daresay Mural: Yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet strainers."

For those who are anguish-languish-challenged, here is the original version of Little Red Riding Hood for your comparison:

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who lived with her mother in a little cottage on the edge of a large, dark forest. This little girl often wore a pretty little red cloak with her little red hood, and for this reason people called her Little Red Riding Hood.

One morning, Little Red Riding Hood's mother called her inside. "Little Red Riding Hood, here's a little basket with some bread and butter and sugar cookies. Take this little basket to the cottage of your grandmother who lives on the other side of the forest. Shake a leg! Don't stop along the road! Don't stop to pick flowers! Don't dilly-dally in the forest, and under no circumstances, don't stop to talk with strangers!"
"Okay, Mother," responded Little Red Riding Hood, and took the little basket and started off. On the road to the cottage of her grandmother, Little Red Riding Hood met an enormous wolf.  

"Well, well, well," said this wicked wolf. "If it isn't Little Red Riding Hood! Where is our pretty little girl going with her little basket?"

"I'm going to my grandmother's," replied the little girl. "Grandma's sick in bed. I'm taking her some bread and butter and sugar cookies."

"Oh, ho! Have a nice walk," said the wicked wolf, but he thought to himself, "I'll take a shortcut to the cottage of her grandmother. I'll catch up with her later, and then — Oh, boy!"

 So the wicked wolf took a shortcut, and when he reached the cottage of her grandmother, peeked in a window, and saw that poor old woman was lying in her bed. And in a flash, this abominable wolf leaped on her bed, pounced on the poor old woman, and gobbled her up. Then this wretched animal put on the grandmother's nightcap and nightgown, and cuddled up in the bed.

In a little while, Little Red Riding Hood arrived at the cottage and rang the doorbell. "Come in, sweetheart," said the wicked wolf, disguising his voice. Little Red Riding Hood entered the bedroom and stood by her grandmother's bed.

"Oh, Grandma!" cried the little girl hysterically. "What big eyes you've got! I never saw such big eyes!"

"The better to look at you with, sweetheart," said the bloodthirsty wolf, with a wicked smile on his face.

"Oh, Grandma, what a big nose! I never saw such an enormous proboscis!"

"Better to smell you with, darling," whispered the old wolf, and his mouth was watering.

"Oh, Grandma, what a big mouth you've got! I never saw such a big mouth!"

Those were the unfortunate little girl's last words. All of a sudden, taking off the covers and springing out of the bed, this hardhearted wolf leapt on poor Little Red Riding Hood and gobbled her up.

There is a Moral: Under no circumstances should little girls stop to talk with strangers.

Would you like to know the real story? Interview with Red Riding Hood and the Three Little ...


  1. Aauuwww, diz is twatly a may zing! U.R.A.G. niece, my deer est, drbj :)))

  2. BTW, I would love to follow this blog of yours, but don't see a 'follow me' button?