Oronyms and a Fairy Tale

Have you heard of oronyms? They are words or phrases that sound the same as other words or phrases. For example, the well-known fairy tale, Little Red Riding Hood, becomes Ladle Rat Rotten Hut. Get it? Here is the story written entirely in oronyms as it appears in the book, Anguish Languish, written by Professor Howard L. Chace. Speak the words aloud for best results. :)


"Wants pawn term dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder inner ladle cordage honor itch offer lodge, dock, florist. Disk ladle gull orphan worry putty ladle rat cluck wetter ladle rat hut, an fur disk raisin pimple colder Ladle Rat Rotten Hut.

Wan moaning Ladle Rat Rotten Hut's murder colder inset. "Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, heresy ladle basking winsome burden barter an shirker cockles. Tick disk ladle basking tutor cordage offer groin-murder how lifts honor udder site offer florist. Shaker lake! Dun stopper laundry wrote! Dun stopper peck floors! Dun daily-doily inner florist, an yonder nor sorghum-stenches, dun stopper torque wet strainers!"

 

"Hoe-cake, murder," resplendent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, an tickle ladle basking an stuttered oft. Honor wrote tutor cordage offer groin-murder, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut mitten anomalous woof.

"Wail, wail, wail!" set disk wicket woof, "Evanescent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut! Wares are putty ladle gull goring wizard ladle basking?"

"Armor goring tumor groin-murder's," reprisal ladle gull. "Grammer's seeking bet. Armor ticking arson burden barter and shirker cockles."

"O hoe! Heifer gnats woke," setter wicket woof, butter taught tomb shelf, "Oil tickle shirt court tutor cordage offer groin-murder. Oil ketchup wetter letter an den -- O bore!"

Soda wicket woof tucker shirt court, an whinny retched a cordage offer groin-murder, picked inner windrow, an sore debtor pore oil worming worse lion inner bet.

Inner flesh, disk abdominal woof lipped honor bet, pauched honor pore oil worming, an garbled erupt. Den disk ratchet ammonol pot honor groin-murder's nut cup an gnat-gun, any curdled ope inner bet.

Inner ladle wile, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut a raft attar cordage, an ranker dough ball. "Comb ink, sweat hard," setter wicket woof, disgracing is verse.

Ladle Rat Rotten Hut entity bet rum, an stud buyer groin-murder's bet. "O Grammar!" crater ladle gull historically, "Water bag icer gut! A nervous sausage bag ice!"

 

"Battered lucky chew whiff, sweat hard," setter bloat-Thursday woof, wetter wicket small honors phase.

"O Grammar, water bag noise! A nervous sore suture anomalous prognosis!"

"Batterd small your whiff, doling," whiskered dole woof, ants mouse worse waddling.

"O Grammar, water bag mouser gut! A nervous sore suture bag mouse!"

Daze worry on-forger-nut ladle gull's lest warts. Oil offer sodden, caking offer carvers an sprinkling otter bet, disk hoard-hoarded woof lipped own pore Ladle Rat Rotten Hut an garbled erupt.

Daresay Mural: Yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet strainers."

For those who are anguish-languish-challenged, here is the original version of Little Red Riding Hood for your comparison:

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who lived with her mother in a little cottage on the edge of a large, dark forest. This little girl often wore a pretty little red cloak with her little red hood, and for this reason people called her Little Red Riding Hood.

One morning, Little Red Riding Hood's mother called her inside. "Little Red Riding Hood, here's a little basket with some bread and butter and sugar cookies. Take this little basket to the cottage of your grandmother who lives on the other side of the forest. Shake a leg! Don't stop along the road! Don't stop to pick flowers! Don't dilly-dally in the forest, and under no circumstances, don't stop to talk with strangers!"

 

"Okay, Mother," responded Little Red Riding Hood, and took the little basket and started off. On the road to the cottage of her grandmother, Little Red Riding Hood met an enormous wolf.  

"Well, well, well," said this wicked wolf. "If it isn't Little Red Riding Hood! Where is our pretty little girl going with her little basket?"

"I'm going to my grandmother's," replied the little girl. "Grandma's sick in bed. I'm taking her some bread and butter and sugar cookies."

"Oh, ho! Have a nice walk," said the wicked wolf, but he thought to himself, "I'll take a shortcut to the cottage of her grandmother. I'll catch up with her later, and then — Oh, boy!"

 So the wicked wolf took a shortcut, and when he reached the cottage of her grandmother, peeked in a window, and saw that poor old woman was lying in her bed. And in a flash, this abominable wolf leaped on her bed, pounced on the poor old woman, and gobbled her up. Then this wretched animal put on the grandmother's nightcap and nightgown, and cuddled up in the bed.

In a little while, Little Red Riding Hood arrived at the cottage and rang the doorbell. "Come in, sweetheart," said the wicked wolf, disguising his voice. Little Red Riding Hood entered the bedroom and stood by her grandmother's bed.

"Oh, Grandma!" cried the little girl hysterically. "What big eyes you've got! I never saw such big eyes!"

"The better to look at you with, sweetheart," said the bloodthirsty wolf, with a wicked smile on his face.

"Oh, Grandma, what a big nose! I never saw such an enormous proboscis!"

"Better to smell you with, darling," whispered the old wolf, and his mouth was watering.

"Oh, Grandma, what a big mouth you've got! I never saw such a big mouth!"

Those were the unfortunate little girl's last words. All of a sudden, taking off the covers and springing out of the bed, this hardhearted wolf leapt on poor Little Red Riding Hood and gobbled her up.

There is a Moral: Under no circumstances should little girls stop to talk with strangers.

Would you like to know the real story? Interview with Red Riding Hood and the Three Little ...

Trivia about Candy

>  It takes an average of 252 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. Source: recent Purdue University study.
>  Every day Tootsie Roll Industries produces 16 million Tootsie Pops.
>  Nearly 9 billion pieces of candy corn are produced annually.
>  Halloween is responsible for 3/4 of the annual sales of candy corn.
>  There are about 1,600 candy manufacturng companies in the United States. But just 2 manufacture 15 of the top 20 selling chocolate candy bars - Hershey and Mars. 
>  The most popular Halloween candy is Snickers fun-size bars.
>  93% of children in the U.S. go "trick or treating."
>  There are 22 M&M colors.
>  M&Ms are the most popular chocolate candy in the U.S. with annual sales of $425 million.
>  Prohibition was a ripe time for introducing new candy bars. Between 1920 and 1930 these new candy bars were introduced: Baby Ruth, Oh Henry, Mounds, Milky Way, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Mr. Goodbar, Butterfinger and Snickers. Source: Inc magazine.
I need my chocolate fix - quick, throw me a peanut M&M.

Pertinent quote: "I’ve been married a long time … and I’m just starting to scratch the surface of what women really want. I don’t know, but the answer probably lies somewhere between chocolate and conversation." - Mel Gibson     If you had known the correct answer was “chocolate," Mel, you might not have gotten that divorce.

Really Useful Trivia

Want to open a window that is stuck because of paint? Simple fix. Just run a pizza cutter along the crack.

Not so Trivial Trivia
Do you have difficulty swallowing pills? Follow these simple steps:
Sit or stand upright.
Take a sip of water before you take your pill. A moist mouth will help the pill go down more easily. Also, take a few sips with and after each pill.
Swallow only one pill at a time.
Do not throw your head back when you take your pill. This can increase your risk for choking.

Health Trivia
Want to get a good night’s sleep? Then do not talk on your cell phone before you go to bed.
Source: A University of Zurich study found that exposing people to the electromagnetic fields from cell phones altered their brain waves during sleep … resulting in sleep disturbances.

Really Trivial Quotes
“An amazing invention – but who would ever want to use one?” - Rutherford B. Hayes, President, who made a call from Washington to Pennsylvania with Alexander Graham Bell’s new telephone patented in 1876

“The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?” - David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.

“I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper.” - Gary Cooper, turning down the leading role in "Gone With the Wind."

“We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.” – statement by Decca Recording Co. in 1962 rejecting the music of the Beatles.

Trivia Questions
Q. What are lentigines? A. Freckles. And here I thought it meant – I let my girlfriend borrow my denims.

Q. In ancient Rome, by law prostitutes had to do what? It’s not what you’re thinking.
A. They had to dye their hair blond or wear a blond wig. That probably inspired the phrase, “Blondes have more fun.”

Q. Why did pirates wear earrings?
A. They believed it would improve their eyesight.

Strange but True Trivia

Do you accuse other people of taking your keys? Research suggests there is a marked difference between how younger and older people interpret misplacing their car keys. A young person usually blames it on someone else. “Who the $%## took my &#$%**# keys?” Senior citizens typically blame it on themselves. “I must be getting old. I misplaced my keys again.” Never use your age as an excuse for anything like this, and see if you don’t remain younger longer. It’s an effective mental trick.

Lou the mule is being hailed as a hero for saving the life of his owner in McMinnville, Tennessee. Jolene Solomon, 63, says she stepped outside her home on New Year's Day to see why Lou was braying so loudly and saw that her house was on fire. It burned to the ground, but she and Lou are safe. Forget a watch dog. Get a mule.

Weird Animal Trivia
What is unusual about a raccoon's penis? It contains a bone. I refuse to make a comment on this one.

After sex what does the female marine bristle worm do? She bites off the male’s penis and eats it. Too bad he isn’t built more like the raccoon.

If you like reading about weird animals on our planet, see my new Hubpages on the Komondor, the Axolotl, the Aye-Aye, the Dung Beetle, the Blobfish and the Star-Nosed Mole. http://hubpages.com/profile/drbj

Celebrity Trivia - Before They Were Stars
Donald Trump was a rent collector. Some things never change.
Matthew McConaughey cleaned out chicken coops. The only direction he could go from there is up.
Marlon Brando dug ditches. Same comment as above.
Cyndi Lauper emptied dog kennels  Same comment as Matthew's and Marlon's.

Not so Trivial Trivia

If you think someone is having a stroke, ask the person three questions: “Smile for me. Raise both your arms. Say this simple sentence: ‘The sun is shining.’” If the person has trouble doing these three tasks, call 911 immediately.

“I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking something up and finding something else on the way.” - Franklin P. Adams. Me, too.

Health Trivia
Doctors say that cheerful people resist disease better than grumpy ones. Guess it’s the surly bird that catches the germ.

Heart attack? Don’t just call 911 and chew an aspirin. While you’re waiting for help to arrive, squeeze the little finger on your left hand HARD! This acupressure procedure has been said to save lives.

Didja know almonds contain salicylates? That’s the pain-relieving ingredient in aspirin. And they don’t have any dangerous side effects.

Some 79% of women know what they weighed in high school, but just 32% know their current cholesterol levels.

Saving Money Trivia
Need a hotel room? Look up the number and call the hotel at 4 pm on a Sunday to reserve a room for any time within the next 2 to 3 weeks. You will have a better chance of getting a low rate from a hotel manager who understands that an unsold room is lost revenue. Do not call the hotel’s 800 number where you are apt to reach a national reservation agent with little negotiating power.

Celebrity Trivia - Before They Were Stars
Michael Douglas was a gas station attendant. Remember them? They were the guys who checked your oil and your tires?
Warren Beatty was a rat catcher. Guess he had the charisma of the Pied Piper, even then.
Christopher Walken was a lion tamer in the circus.
Rod Stewart was a grave digger. The only job I know where you can start at the top!

Trivia to Live By

Yes, I’m a collector of trivia, tips, strategies, tactics, pointers and bits of information – stuff that makes me mutter, “Gee, I didn’t know that.” Or sometimes, “Gee, I knew that but I forgot it.” As I get older, often it’s the latter statement I utter the most. Sometimes I think I’m a victim of C.R.S. (Can’t Remember Shit). Or suffering from Somesheimers (a precursor of Alzheimers). And always I’m amazed at how much stuff I do remember. So this will be a compilation of more items I’ve re-discovered lately that I find useful, interesting, valuable and I must admit, sometimes even stupid.
Trivia to Make Your Day
If you accidentally lock your keys in the car and your spare keys are at home, call someone at home on your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the other person at your home press the unlock button of your key fob (clicker), holding it near the phone on their end. Your car doors will unlock. Distance is no object. You could be many miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" key for your car, you can unlock the doors or the trunk.

Really Trivial Quotes
“I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year.” - Editor of business books, Prentice Hall, 1957
“But what ... is it good for?” - Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
“So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary; we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'" - Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs commenting on numerous attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer. (You all know Steve Jobs of Apple and Steve Wozniak - of ballroom dancing fame.)

Trivia is good for you

Research! I've done it all my life - at school, at work, at home - for my books, for the articles, and the blog posts, and the speeches I now present. I am constantly researching and collecting varied and sometimes trivial, but always useful information. How about you? And because of the constant stream of minutiae that I collect, I've realized a brutal truth. My name is BJ and I'm a fact-aholic. I confess. I'm a trivia junkie. So I started this blog to share trivia and irresistible stories that I find forever fascinating and never trivial. Let me know your favorite trivia tidbits, too.

Health Trivia
This is really important. When using a public restroom, go to the first stall. After analyzing 51 public restrooms, researchers found that the stall closest to the restroom door consistently had the lowest bacteria levels. As well as the most toilet paper. The first stall probably sees less traffic because it’s near the door and most people think it's used the most so it would harbor the most bacteria and thus avoid it. When you’re finished, if you are seated, stand before you flush. A fine mist of water containing contagious bacteria sprays upward when a toilet is flushed. You could catch a number of intestinal bugs or hepatitis.

Did you know that honey has powerful antibacterial properties? Before you put a bandaid on that cut, dab a little honey on the wound to disinfect it. A recent study found that honey is capable of destroying almost all strains of common wound-infecting bacteria. Speaking of bees, did you know that aerodynamically, the little wings of the bee are much too tiny to support its heavier body. But the bee doesn't know this and flies anyway.

Food Trivia
You might think that farm-raised salmon are healthier for you but forego the rural fish. They are pumped bull of antibiotics and lower in nutritional value than their wild relatives, and get their beautiful color from dye. Wild salmon get their beautiful color from an antioxidant in krill, their natural food source.

You already know that it's best to take your vitamin supplement with food because food releases digestive enzymes necessary for complete vitamin absorption. Caution: Do not include iron with meals. Take it separately because food interferes with its absorption. Is that where the motto arose? Easy come, easy go? Sorry - I got carried away.

Just Trivia
Worms produce their body weight in waste every 24 hours. OMG! Can you imagine the sorry shape of this planet if humans did that?

Favorite very short anecdote department: George Bernard Shaw sent this note to his very good friend, Winston Churchill: "Here are two tickets to my new play. Bring a friend - if you have one." Winston returned the tickets with his own note: "Sorry, I'm unable to attend opening night. Please send me tickets for the second performance - if there is one."